“It may be 10,140 km from Ho Chi Minh City to Honolulu but it's only 6,301 miles. Put that in your metric marketing pipe and smoke it!” - Fran Huehls

“Let me show you how we can magnify the impact of your gift!” - Ruth Hansen

“Any fool can tell this book isn't as big as the one in the display, but noooo we have to open the case and confirm...would serve him right if I accidently let this lid drop.” -  Robert Aull

“When the Administration says, ‘No smoking!’ they mean it!” - Lyna Gunderson

“Listen you four...quit cracking jokes. A 3-credit course on ‘Head Lice in Western Civilization’ is serious business.” - John Hazer

Early adopters of Title IX lacked much understanding as to the law's intent. - Andy Smith

…and I created this out of used bulletins and scrap paper! - Melanie Curfman

Colgate's, "Squeak from the bottom." toothpaste line was the industry's first attempt at recyclable packaging. - Kristi Plamer.

My love for you doth grow, like the flowers from thy head. But dear, forsake the mulch, ere the King may think thee dead. - Bill Orme

So I says to her, ‘Gertrude, you aren't keepin me from carvin' teeth with the guys, no mam, not this time.’ - Kristi Palmer